Sunday, May 20, 2007 @11:19 PM
i'm supposed to be writing a papaer. and again, i'm not doing what i'm supposed to do.
lots of things unexpected things happened today. my mind is in chaos. i can not focus. i a physically and psychologically very tired. i feel like sleeping but i'm afraid i might not wake up eraly ang have time to finish my paper. but i think i would be able to concentrate better in the wee hours of the morning.
he likes wall climbing. she does too.
what do the two of us have in common? nothing, he says.
written on every page of my imagination
Wednesday, November 15, 2006 @6:44 AM
shucks. nakakainis. dapat gumagawa ako ng paper ngayon eh. kaso ang lutang ko. hindi ko naman alam kung anung iniisip ko. fart anubaito. bumabalik na naman ako sa seond year high school days. with all the self-pity and no self-esteem shit. haha. i don't even kow why!! hay this sucks. waaaaa. yuck ang kadiri ko! haha. goodness.
kailangan ko na magisip. kasi naman tagalg yng isang paper na dpat ko gawin eh. hay. tama na nga to. focus, focus. haha
ay linger yung kanta. haha cool. click. oh my godness am i making any sense??
written on every page of my imagination
@4:31 AM
second sem na, time for change. haha. minsan pala talga kahit gano mo gustuhin na magbago, ang hirap. haha.
anyway. merong isang bago sakin. at hindi sya nagugustuhan ng iba kong friends. lalo best friend ko. pero sabi nya naman it's up to me. haha ang swerte ko ang understanding ni jnine. i don't even know why i'm doing it. siguro, one is because of curiosity. pero ewan talaga eh. pag naiisip ko, am i really doing this? pati ako nagugulat sa sarili ko eh. haha. hay bahala na.
minsan nasusungitan ko ang mga (or isang) tao kahit ayoko. wala eh. that's just the best thing to do that i can think of. oh well. sinabi din ng pinsan ko na ganun gawin ko, so sinusunod ko nalang. ganun pala talaga pamisan, kahit ayaw mo gawin yung isang bagay, kung yun yung sa tingin mo at ng iba ay best, kaya pala magawa. haha. cool.
sa ngayon, masaya pa naman ang earth.. in fairness. sana masaya naman itong second sem.
zagu zagu zagu
written on every page of my imagination
Wednesday, October 25, 2006 @7:36 PM
Goodbye to You - Michelle Branch
Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And when the stars fall I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
***
haha eto na namang kanta. this sucks. ayoko na maulit yung dati. please please talaga ayoko na maulit yung dati. hay. tama sila kai. wala akong magagawa sa kanya, dapat sakin na lang. kasi ako naman nagcocontrol sa sarili ko diba. haha.
it sucks when you're friends are having such a great time and you're not. you sulk and sulk in your own pathetic world. guess what. this is exactly how i feel. haha. well i'm happy that jnine and joel are ok and that they're working things out. i'm glad they talked about stuff that they had to, and that the talk ended ok. i'm happy that
ps texted kai. i just hate it when i look at my world and see that it sucks.
well i guess there are worse cases than what i am having right now.
i'll try to stop wallowing. life has so much to offer me.
bahala na. i did what i had to. the rest.. i guess it's up to **** na. haha.
***
" How can I be expected to be trapped for the rest of my life by a man that's frozen in time?"
written on every page of my imagination
Wednesday, October 18, 2006 @11:49 PM
parang sa friendster. haha.
kakauwi ko lang. kanina nag date kami ng tatay ko kasama yung girlfriend nya. i had so much fun! promise. nanood kami ng the departed, ang ganda sobra. haha. tapos we ate, then we had coffee. =) ang saya diba?
kaso lang, hindi yung nanay ko yung kasama namin. don't get me wrong, i really really like tita nina. siguro ngayon nafifeel ko lang na iba na talaga. i think i'm ok with it. really. pero ewan bakit pag tinatanong ako ng mga pinsan ko, nakakalungkot parin. siguro on normal days, i just don't think about it too much. i prefer not to. di ko rin alam bakit ganun eh. basta.
lately, i've had a lot of fights with my mother. hindi ko talaga sya maintindihan. well, syempre may instances na talagang may kasalanan ako kaya ako napapagalitan. pero ang hindi ko maintindihan talaga sa kanya, yung reaction nya nung nalaman nya na may girlfriend na yung tatay ko. DUH. dati tinatry pa ng tatay ko na makipag-ayos sa kanya. medyo niligawan pa nga sya ulit eh. sabi nya ayaw nya na talaga. eh di ok. i believe her. pero ngayon bat sya ganito?? putek anlabo talga.
kanina kasi, ginabi na nga kami kasi nanuod kaming sine and all. hinatid ako ng tatay ko pero di na umabot sa gate kasi nga kasama si tita. tinanong ako ng nanay ko, e di syempre sinabi ko na kasama nga sya. tas sabi nya, "akala ko ba kayo lang ng tatay mo?" eh anu naman ngayon diba? akala ko ba wala na syang pakialam? tas may dala pa kasi akong dalawang coffee (tig-isa kami, bukod pa sa kape na hawak ko), at donuts. sabi nya "bat andami naman nito? para kanino ba talaga to?" DUH. kailangan pa ba magtanong ng ganun? leche. kung hindi para sa kanya yun, eh di sana hindi ko dinala diba. pesteng pride yan! bwiset. anu ba problema mo?!!! grow up! fart sino ba sa tingin mo mas nahihirapan dito? i (and my brother) didn't choose this life. i know syempre nahihirapan din sila. pero duh, sino bang nag-drawing ng buhay namin when we were too young to do so ourselves? sila. now we have to live this freakin life because we have no freakin choice.
what the heck. wala na din magagawa tong mga sinasabi ko. ngayon nagsusungit na naman sya. text na naman daw ako ng text. eh kagabi lang ok na ok kami ah. anu ba to, namemenoppose na? ang aga naman.
sometimes i think i'm crazy. but that would be wrong coz crazy people don't know they're crazy. diba? hay. nakakainis. i feel that i'm too young to be dealing with this. fart. normal people (teens) only think about their acads, lovelife and all that crap that most teens think about. iniisip ng iba complicated na yung ganun. whoa. i wish it was that simple for me. hay. am i making sense here? i probably am not because you don't know the whole story. pero whatever. sumasabog heart ko ngayon at ito lang outlet ko.
i'm weak. i don't think i can take any more of this. but i can't kill myself because i wouldn't want to leave my brother in this shithole of a life. gosh, pressure maging ate. hay.
ayan nakahinga na ako. waaaaa.... grabe! di ko na talaga magets pati sarili ko.
sana naman makaya na ng nanay ko maging hindi masungit pag kaharap tatay ko and/or si tita nina. sana din aminin nya na lang sakin yung matagal nya nang tinatago at dinedeny kahit alam ko namang totoo. sana maging strong yung kapatid ko. sana wala nang ibang maka experience ng ganito. sana din pala maging strong ako. sana sumaya tatay ko with tita nina. sana din sumaya si tita nina. sana maintindihan nila na hindi na ako yung dati na sobrang talinong bata. sana maintindihan nila na mahirap isipin ng sabay-sabay ang acads at pamilya. sana hindi ako iwanan ng friends ko. sana mag-heal na kami. sana magkatotoo lahat ng mga winish ko.
see? it IS complicated.
please help me.
written on every page of my imagination
Saturday, September 30, 2006 @11:05 PM
nung saturday last week, september 23, nagparty kami kasi birthday celebration ng friends ko. Sila kai, jnine, at kamille. sa party na yuh, SOBRANG daming nangayari. Sa dami ng nangyari, yung iba, may effect sa mga buhay buhay namin ngayon, at symepre, yung iba wala.
Dahil sa paryy na yun, marami na naman akong narealize sa earth. na ang flirting pala ay natural na natural nalang sa lahat. na madalas, kahit hindi natin aminin na flirting na yung ginagawa natin, e ganun na din yun.
haha. ang shitty talaga. siguro nasa tao nalang talaga yun. mahirap nga naman kasi pag minsan lalo pag
friends kayo, wala lang naman talaga kapag naghawakan kayo ng kamay diba. haha. pero sa iba, may ibig sabihin na yun. come to think of it, meron naman talaga eh, diba? hahawakan mo ba ng mahigpit at matagal yung kamay ng isang tao of the opposite sex ng wala lang? ng dahil bored ka lang? hahaha. hay earth. oh well. pwede rin siguro pampalipas oras lang. kasi halos lahat ng mga tao sa paligid, may kamoment, tas ikaw wala. inggit. haha. gago, nangdamay pa.
hahaha shit. ang labo. ako lang yata nakakagets nito e.
ANYWAY.
si 'tom', naisip ko na hindi talaga. kasi pag tinignan ko sya, alamu yun, hindi ko talaga maimagine kasi.. wala. ayoko ng boring. masyadong ma-routine. haha. wala lang.
sa mga nangyari this week, napapag-isip ako. after ko tignan ulit yung mga pictures sa multiply ni kamille, nakita ko na ... ayun. haha. tapos, nahihiya ako kay kayla kasi umiinom ako. pero in fairness, ang galing ko nung party ah. hindi ako nalasing! at walang tulugan pa yun! hahaha. tas after nun, sunday pag uwi ko, party naman sa bahay ng pinsan ko. haha. 4am na kami natulog at may pasok pa ako nun. hanep. haha.
nag bonding kami ng mga pinsan ko. kuya jake, ate emjay,ate crescel,ako. galing. haha. nakakatouch mga pinsan ko.. akalain mo? hay. anyway, excited na ako sa magiging lakad namin. sana matuloy.
sana maging maayos na ako ulit. haha. i neeeed someone's help para mapatino ko sarili ko. sana matapos ko na yung concept paper ko. tungkol kay paulo coelho. haha. wish me luck!
ay, nung nagfrienster pala ako dati, nakita ko sa Who's viewed me si
ultimate haha. at syempre kinilig kilig naman ako! haha!wala lang.
good luck nalang saming apat.. Kai, Phimie, Jnine, Ako. haha. lalo na kay jinine. yikee., =) may ganon. haha.
hhay.
ay, kakadaan lang pala nung isang bagyo. ang lakas nya sobra.. yun lang. haha.
written on every page of my imagination
Saturday, September 16, 2006 @7:36 PM
haha. shucks antagal na nung huli akong nag update. hahaha. um.. well crush ko ulit si chem engg. haha. pati si hot drummerboy. haha.
anyway. nung wednesday pati thursday nadama namin na college na nga kami. haha. kasi dapat manunuod kami ngs shockvalue tapos wala na palang tickets. so yu, nag katips nalang kami tapos nag yellow cab. haha. tapos thursday na kmai nakanood, tapos after nun, mga 10pm, nagpunta pa kaming quesci. fair na kasi eh. battle. ayun. hayup ang galing nila zion pati bernice. haha! tas ang HOT ni gino at kelvin! hahaha! wala lang. buti na lang andun si bartkasi may napagtataguan ako pag pinapagtaguan ko si ano. yung kapangalan ni
pc ni kai. haha. anyway.. sobrang late na nun kaya salamt ulit kay bart kasi hinatid nya ko. ayun.
tas kahapon, sm na naman. mejo nagalit nga yata sakin si jnine eh.. ayun. tas nagspan ako. wala lang.
hmm..
si 'tom' wala.. ewan talaga. dilemma talaga eh. kasi naman ang hirap talaga tanchahin. masyadong matino! tas basta.. wala yatang funness eh.. haha. ewan. hindi ko pa naman sya ganun ka-kilala eh. pero how would i, kung hindi naman sya nag-oopen up diba? oh well, whatev. haha.
birthday na ng bestfriend ko sa tuesday! hoemgie wala pa akong naiisio na regalo! hay. nakakaba.
written on every page of my imagination