Thursday, February 09, 2006 @3:10 PM
fart. i am sooo confused right now.we're having a longtest and i cant even think straight.
there's too may things going on and i dont think i can handle them anymore.
i like this person, but not that much. really not THAT much. and i know her feelings are deeper and i dont have anything against it. its just that i dont understand why she feels the way she does. not about me, i mean. but about me being friends [or whatever] w/ him and liking him. i really cant stand this. i do not want to be a reason for her to feel lonely. duh. who would want that?
what i really dont understand though is why does it matter? i mean, i dont think he likes me. so what? im not that into him anyway. its just that i find joy in his company, or whenever i remember him but thats it. that all. unlike when i think about dots. fart. plus. she also knows how much i like dots!. i mean, why does it have that effect on her? i never meant to be, like, one of those who make her unhappy. i never thought this SMALL thing can lead up to this.
now i really do not know how to act. would it be unfair if i try to avoid him? or is that what i should do? honestly, i feel like i dont want to, but it fells like i should for the betterment of all.
im really really really really cofused right now.
and they say im 'the goddess of confusion and clarity'.
now obviously is the confusion part. i wonder when the clarity part will come
written on every page of my imagination