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Friday, February 10, 2006 @12:06 AM

so now, things are pretty much going back to normal. i mean, my friends feel better now than they did yesterday.
the not-so-good part though is, now, im feeling low. maybe it is because i will be pushing some people away. well, sort of.when deep inside i know i really dont want to. but i feel like its the right thing to do. fart.
i dont know. you know how it feels when you know you have to stop being this, though it makes you feel happy, because being this means hurting another? well that is how i feel right now.
oh well. like i said, i am starting to get the hang of the 'mind over matter' thing. i think i will make it. i hope so.
i talked to my tita about this, and surprisingly, i liked what she told me. i just cant agree to it because then id be too selfish.
i guess i will have to "train" myself again.
WAIT. what the fuck? why am i making a big deal out of this?! when really, it is NOT. shit. some people are just very much affected by it. and of course, i consider their feelings. and for me, those feelings are big deal.
but when i come to think about it, the root of all these is not even freakin that deep.
FART.
just how far do you think this will get me?!
i think im exaggerating stuff. because they are. she is. and in effect, now i think i am too. FART.
i hope i can act my way out of this.

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