Wednesday, October 25, 2006 @7:36 PM
Goodbye to You - Michelle Branch
Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And when the stars fall I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
***
haha eto na namang kanta. this sucks. ayoko na maulit yung dati. please please talaga ayoko na maulit yung dati. hay. tama sila kai. wala akong magagawa sa kanya, dapat sakin na lang. kasi ako naman nagcocontrol sa sarili ko diba. haha.
it sucks when you're friends are having such a great time and you're not. you sulk and sulk in your own pathetic world. guess what. this is exactly how i feel. haha. well i'm happy that jnine and joel are ok and that they're working things out. i'm glad they talked about stuff that they had to, and that the talk ended ok. i'm happy that
ps texted kai. i just hate it when i look at my world and see that it sucks.
well i guess there are worse cases than what i am having right now.
i'll try to stop wallowing. life has so much to offer me.
bahala na. i did what i had to. the rest.. i guess it's up to **** na. haha.
***
" How can I be expected to be trapped for the rest of my life by a man that's frozen in time?"
written on every page of my imagination
Wednesday, October 18, 2006 @11:49 PM
parang sa friendster. haha.
kakauwi ko lang. kanina nag date kami ng tatay ko kasama yung girlfriend nya. i had so much fun! promise. nanood kami ng the departed, ang ganda sobra. haha. tapos we ate, then we had coffee. =) ang saya diba?
kaso lang, hindi yung nanay ko yung kasama namin. don't get me wrong, i really really like tita nina. siguro ngayon nafifeel ko lang na iba na talaga. i think i'm ok with it. really. pero ewan bakit pag tinatanong ako ng mga pinsan ko, nakakalungkot parin. siguro on normal days, i just don't think about it too much. i prefer not to. di ko rin alam bakit ganun eh. basta.
lately, i've had a lot of fights with my mother. hindi ko talaga sya maintindihan. well, syempre may instances na talagang may kasalanan ako kaya ako napapagalitan. pero ang hindi ko maintindihan talaga sa kanya, yung reaction nya nung nalaman nya na may girlfriend na yung tatay ko. DUH. dati tinatry pa ng tatay ko na makipag-ayos sa kanya. medyo niligawan pa nga sya ulit eh. sabi nya ayaw nya na talaga. eh di ok. i believe her. pero ngayon bat sya ganito?? putek anlabo talga.
kanina kasi, ginabi na nga kami kasi nanuod kaming sine and all. hinatid ako ng tatay ko pero di na umabot sa gate kasi nga kasama si tita. tinanong ako ng nanay ko, e di syempre sinabi ko na kasama nga sya. tas sabi nya, "akala ko ba kayo lang ng tatay mo?" eh anu naman ngayon diba? akala ko ba wala na syang pakialam? tas may dala pa kasi akong dalawang coffee (tig-isa kami, bukod pa sa kape na hawak ko), at donuts. sabi nya "bat andami naman nito? para kanino ba talaga to?" DUH. kailangan pa ba magtanong ng ganun? leche. kung hindi para sa kanya yun, eh di sana hindi ko dinala diba. pesteng pride yan! bwiset. anu ba problema mo?!!! grow up! fart sino ba sa tingin mo mas nahihirapan dito? i (and my brother) didn't choose this life. i know syempre nahihirapan din sila. pero duh, sino bang nag-drawing ng buhay namin when we were too young to do so ourselves? sila. now we have to live this freakin life because we have no freakin choice.
what the heck. wala na din magagawa tong mga sinasabi ko. ngayon nagsusungit na naman sya. text na naman daw ako ng text. eh kagabi lang ok na ok kami ah. anu ba to, namemenoppose na? ang aga naman.
sometimes i think i'm crazy. but that would be wrong coz crazy people don't know they're crazy. diba? hay. nakakainis. i feel that i'm too young to be dealing with this. fart. normal people (teens) only think about their acads, lovelife and all that crap that most teens think about. iniisip ng iba complicated na yung ganun. whoa. i wish it was that simple for me. hay. am i making sense here? i probably am not because you don't know the whole story. pero whatever. sumasabog heart ko ngayon at ito lang outlet ko.
i'm weak. i don't think i can take any more of this. but i can't kill myself because i wouldn't want to leave my brother in this shithole of a life. gosh, pressure maging ate. hay.
ayan nakahinga na ako. waaaaa.... grabe! di ko na talaga magets pati sarili ko.
sana naman makaya na ng nanay ko maging hindi masungit pag kaharap tatay ko and/or si tita nina. sana din aminin nya na lang sakin yung matagal nya nang tinatago at dinedeny kahit alam ko namang totoo. sana maging strong yung kapatid ko. sana wala nang ibang maka experience ng ganito. sana din pala maging strong ako. sana sumaya tatay ko with tita nina. sana din sumaya si tita nina. sana maintindihan nila na hindi na ako yung dati na sobrang talinong bata. sana maintindihan nila na mahirap isipin ng sabay-sabay ang acads at pamilya. sana hindi ako iwanan ng friends ko. sana mag-heal na kami. sana magkatotoo lahat ng mga winish ko.
see? it IS complicated.
please help me.
written on every page of my imagination